“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” -Oscar Wilde
Handle the unexpected and not go crazy by focusing on what you can control – and letting the unexpected be. Appreciate the good, take control of what you can, and don’t worry about what you can’t.
You can’t do anything about what’s out of you control, so it’s a waste of time and energy to worry about it. Instead, focus your resources on what you can control and improve your situation with that.
Focus on What You Can Control, Ignore the Rest
Next time life throws a curve ball at you—something breaks, sudden change of plans, deal doesn’t work out, tension among family or friends, whatever—don’t freak out. Instead, force yourself to analyze the situation and see what factors you can change to improve it.
It’s natural for you to get frustrated and start pulling your hair. We all get that feeling – we’re only human.
But to not go crazy (and not go bald), don’t let that initial reaction overtake you: switch your energy from worrying to improving your situation with what you can control. Don’t worry about the rest – you can’t do anything about it anyway.
The sooner you focus on controlling what you can and ignoring what you can’t, the faster you’ll get a handle on the unexpected situation and not go crazy.
You’ll be too busy focusing on what you can control (and appreciating the good in the situation) to think about the things that are out of your control. You don’t go crazy, you’re able to get things done, and your overall mood stays positive.
Some things are what they are. Just accept and embrace them, and let it be – you can’t change it anyway. You can become relaxed and get more results by directing your energy towards maximizing and bettering that which you can change.
I Learned to Handle the Unexpected
I was surrounded by a lot of stress and yelling throughout my teens and early twenties. Like with any family, it was a lot of unexpected events and arguments. And at first, it really got to me. I’d go crazy. And I hated myself for being stressed out and being angry.
However, I knew I couldn’t change my immediate family and surroundings, so I had to do something. I forced myself to accept my situation as is, and I started looking at what positive things I could get from my situation.
Turns out it was like a training-to-be-calm-and-collected boot camp (except it was involuntary and accelerated). I focused on not letting negative energy affect me, and when others were stressing out, I pushed myself to be calm and unaffected.
And it worked.
I started going crazy much less. I became more laid back. My gut reactions of feeling frustrated became shorter and shorter, instead being replaced by calmness.
I focused on the positive in unexpected stressful situations, worked with what I could change to make it better, and just let go of that which was out of my control.
After a few years, I actually appreciated having this involuntary boot camp. I’d see others flip out and wonder how I stayed level-headed, not letting negative energy and stress affect me. I realized that this was actually a blessing in disguise.
By accepting and embracing the situation I had no control over, I started focusing on the positive. I stopped thinking about how hard life sucked, became relaxed and enjoyed life more, and actually got some results out of it: I became a calm, collected, and centered person.
Oleg Mokhov, Mr. Chill. Hey, that’s appropriate since I’m from Russia too. Nice.
Handle the Unexpected and Not Go Crazy
Do unexpected situations have you flipping out? Feel like you don’t have control? Going crazy worrying about what’s messed up? I’ve been there. We all have. And our natural gut reaction is exactly that. But you can handle the unexpected and not go crazy by focusing on what you can control and not thinking about what you can’t.
Just let the unexpected be. You can’t control it anyway. Instead, redirect your energy into improving your situation with what you can control. Focus on what you can control and appreciate the good, and you’ll stay relaxed and improve your situation as well as your mood.
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(Image: Vocaloid)
Useful Stuff Elsewhere
Embracing the Unexpected – Tina Su pulls lessons on how to handle the unexpected and stay positive from her surprise preterm labor experience.
6 Comments
That’s the thing really, to focus on what you can change instead of getting upset. I blow off steam or vent for a few minutes, and then it’s back to work. Took me a long time to learn that.
Good point Nathan: if we need to blow off steam or vent, that’s fine. We can do it for a few minutes. But then it’s right back to work. Any longer and we start wasting our time and energy on things we can’t change.
Life is full of surprises. It pays to prepare ourselves. Things happen to people and families everyday that they are not expecting. I used to go through life thinking that disasters won’t happen to me. I don’t anymore. I’ve lived long enough and have had enough experiences to teach me otherwise.
I hear that Chris. You think something “will never happen to you” but something eventually does (however big or small). Like you said, life is full of surprises. Be prepared, and make the best of the situation when the unexpected happens while letting go of what’s out of your control.
Oleg
Hi Oleg,
If we were to try to control everything that is not within our grasp, we will definitely lead a very miserable life. You had made a great point here.
Cheers,
Vincent
Thanks Vincent. Yep, trying to control what’s not in our grasp is a great way towards leading a miserable life.
Best,
Oleg